Let’s Talk About the Elephant in the Room (Or, You Know, the Pile of Laundry on the Couch)
Some messes aren’t just physical. They carry emotional weight, like guilt, exhaustion, shame, and this nagging feeling of “Where do I even start?” If you’re reading this while sitting in a room that looks like a tornado had a grudge match with a toy store, you’re in the right place. And if you’re a parent, especially a new one, I see you. The mess isn’t just stuff.
It’s diapers, burp cloths, snack crumbs, LEGO mines, and a whole lot of “I meant to get to that.”
So let’s do this differently. This isn’t about achieving Pinterest-level perfection. It’s about reclaiming a bit of control. One sock. One dish. One breath at a time.
1. Stop Trying to Tidy the Whole House (Seriously, Don’t Do That)
Here’s the thing: your brain, when overwhelmed, doesn’t know where to start. That whole “clean the house” goal? Too vague. Too big. Way too stressy. What you need is something smaller. Like, absurdly small.
Pick one room. Or a corner of one room. Heck, pick one surface. The top of the coffee table. The kitchen counter. That chair you keep pretending isn’t your laundry staging area. Just start there.
The goal isn’t “clean house.”
It’s “cleaned something.”
Because something leads to momentum. And momentum, well, that leads to more somethings.
2. The 5-Minute Rule (A.K.A. Trick Your Brain)
Tell yourself you’re only going to clean for five minutes. Just five. That’s it. You can do anything for five minutes, right?
Set a timer. Start with the easiest thing: maybe it’s tossing trash or putting dishes in the sink. Most of the time, once those five minutes are up, you’ll keep going. But even if you don’t? That’s still five minutes of chaos turned into order. That’s a win.
(Pro tip: This trick works with kids, too. Tell them they only have to help for five minutes. You might just get ten.)
3. Reset One Space. Every Day.
Pick one zone of your home that you reset every night or every morning. Just one. This could be the kitchen island, the entryway, your nightstand. Make it your sacred space of sanity.
Why? Because walking past that one clean spot amidst the mess sends your brain a message: “Hey, we’ve got this. At least a little.”
And that little bit of confidence? It spreads.
4. Embrace the “Good Enough” Clean
Listen, perfection is exhausting. Nobody needs baseboards wiped daily. (If you’re doing that, blink twice if you’re okay.) For now, aim for good enough. Wipe the sticky spot. Scoop the toys into a bin. Fluff the couch pillows.
Not everything has to be deep-cleaned. Clean enough is, well, enough.
And yes, sometimes “enough” is just shoving everything in a laundry basket and pretending you meant to do that. No judgment.
5. Make It Sensory (In a Good Way)
Sometimes, the hardest part is getting started. So make cleaning more sensory-friendly. Light a candle. Blast your favorite playlist. Open a window. Put on soft socks.
Engage your senses so your brain doesn’t scream, “This is awful!”
Cleaning doesn’t have to feel like punishment. Sometimes it can feel like self-care. (Okay, not always, but occasionally!)
6. Use the Two-Basket Method (or Three, If You’re Feeling Fancy)
This is old-school, but it works:
- One basket for stuff that belongs elsewhere
- One for trash
- One for donations (optional, but hey, dream big)
Move through a space once, basket in hand. Don’t overthink. Don’t stop to actually put things away. Just sort. Sort now, deal later. It gives you visual progress fast.
And visual progress is a powerful thing.
7. Ask for Help Without Guilt
This is big. And maybe uncomfortable. But it matters.
You are not a one-person cleaning service. If you have a partner, kids, roommates, ask. Actually, ask out loud. Assign a tiny task: “Can you toss these in the laundry?” or “Can you handle the dishes while I feed the baby?”
And if it’s just you? Call a friend. Text your sister. Sometimes just having someone on a video call while you clean helps. It makes it less lonely.
You do not have to do this alone.
8. Start With What Bothers You Most
Not what seems most “urgent.” What bugs you the most. That one messy thing you’re sick of walking past. Clean that. Because emotional relief is a more powerful motivator than logic.
Clean with your feelings, not just your checklist.
9. Let the Kids Help (Even if It’s Chaos)
I know. It’s often more work to let them “help.”
But making mess-management a team sport helps you now and later. Give toddlers a rag. Ask your 6-year-old to sort socks. Turn picking up toys into a race. Is it slower? Yes. Is it messier? Probably. But it also teaches them that mess isn’t a grown-up-only problem.
You’re not just cleaning. You’re modeling. That matters.
10. Lower the Bar. No, Lower.
Nobody is handing out medals for the cleanest baseboards. Truly.
Your house doesn’t have to look guest-ready. It doesn’t have to smell like lavender. It just has to work for you. Lower the bar. And then lower it again.
Your home isn’t a showroom. It’s a life space.
11. Set the Scene for Tomorrow
Before you crash for the night, do one small thing to make tomorrow easier. Start the dishwasher. Clear the sink. Lay out clothes. Whatever tiny prep makes your morning smoother.
It’s not about the task. It’s about the feeling: “Hey, I’ve got a little control over the chaos.”
And that matters more than clean floors.
12. Give Yourself a Freakin’ Break
Here’s the truth nobody puts on Instagram: Everyone struggles with mess. Especially parents. Especially new ones.
So if the house feels like a wreck? If the dishes are breeding in the sink? If you’ve been wearing the same sweatshirt since Tuesday?
You’re not lazy. You’re human.
You’re tired. Probably touched out. Maybe overstimulated. And that’s valid.
So breathe. Pick up one thing. Then another. That’s enough for today.
Final Thought: The Mess Isn’t Who You Are
Your worth is not measured by your laundry pile.
Read that again.
Mess is just evidence that life is being lived. That kids are being raised. That sleep is sometimes more important than dishes.
You’re doing better than you think.
And hey, hat coffee table looks great.
