Motherhood is many things beautiful, overwhelming, deeply fulfilling. But let’s be real: it’s also kind of gross.

Not “ew-I-saw-a-bug” gross. We’re talking full-on bodily-fluid buffet kind of gross. The kind that makes your pre-kid self gag, but somehow, now, you just handle it. Like a boss. With a crusty burp cloth in one hand and three mystery stains on your leggings.

If you’ve ever questioned your hygiene or sanity while caring for your tiny human, trust me—you’re in good company.

So let’s roll up our sleeves (preferably ones without snot) and talk about the 10 grossest things all moms have done and survived. Probably with a snack in the other hand.

1. Caught Poop With Your Bare Hands Like a True Warrior

There’s this moment blessedly quick, horrifyingly real when your baby’s diaper explodes mid-change. Or worse, while they’re diaper-free and crawling away.

And before you can process, your hand is the barrier between the poop and the floor.

You didn’t think. You didn’t flinch. You just caught it.

That, right there, is instinct. You’re no longer just a mom you’re a human shield. A poop ninja. Honestly? You deserve a medal.

2. Sniffed Their Butt in Public and Didn’t Bat an Eye

You know the look. The wide-eyed pause. The slight lean forward. And then the big inhale.

Was it them? Or was it something in aisle 4?

Every mom has done the “butt sniff test” in public. In a café. At church. At a family barbecue. It’s awkward, but necessary.

One time, I sniffed the wrong twin. Twice. They were both clean. The smell? My own coffee spill from that morning. Classic.

3. Used Your Sleeve, Hand, or Elbow to Wipe Snot

Kids don’t get colds. They get tsunamis of mucus. And unless you’re carrying a Costco-sized pack of tissues in your back pocket, you’re improvising.

Wiping a nose with your hand? Check. Your sleeve? Been there. The inside of your jacket while whispering “I’ll wash it later”? Absolutely.

You know you’ve made it to “experienced mom” status when you don’t even flinch anymore. Bonus points if you’ve used the inside of a grocery receipt.

4. Picked Their Nose. With Your Bare Fingers

You told yourself you’d never do it.

And then there it was. That giant, half-visible booger just dangling from your toddler’s nose. They’re sniffling, it’s moving, and suddenly… you’re in there. No tissue. Just two fingers and a prayer.

You probably even said, “Hold still, baby,” like it was a professional procedure.

Do we love it? No. Do we do it because tissues lie and boogers laugh at boundaries? Yes.

5. Cleaned Vomit with Whatever Was Closest

Babies vomit. Toddlers vomit. Sometimes, dogs vomit and your kid steps in it and the cycle begins anew.

If you’ve ever cleaned up puke with a single wipe, a beach towel, your sock, or the takeout napkins from last week’s drive-thru run congratulations, you’re officially in the mom club.

By the second kid, you don’t even gag. You just mutter “Again?” and reach for the closest object that vaguely resembles a cloth.

6. Used Spit as an All-Purpose Cleaning Solution

Baby has ketchup on her chin?

Spit-wipe.

Toddler has mystery gunk above his eyebrow in the middle of a wedding?

Spit-wipe.

Honestly, your mom did it, and you swore you’d never stoop that low. But now? You’ve got mom-spit powers. That mix of saliva and maternal determination can remove stubborn stains better than Tide.

We’ve even passed the holy grail of spit wipes: doing it with our thumb, mid-conversation, without breaking eye contact.

7. Caught Baby Drool In Your Bra… and Just Continued On With Your Life

It starts with a cuddle. A snuggle. A sweet baby nuzzle against your chest.

Then drip.

You look down, and your bra is basically a sponge. But you don’t flinch. Because you’ve been here before. Baby drool is warm, weirdly thick, and, on some level, strangely comforting. Like, “yep, they still love me.”

You carry on. You buy groceries. You wave at neighbors. Your dignity? Slightly damp, but intact.

8. Pulled Hair From the Drain and Wondered If You Were Still Alive Inside

Nothing tests your will to live like drain hair. Especially when it’s coated in soap scum and mystery goo, and the baby is screaming in the background.

You don’t have gloves. You don’t have time. You just do it.

And while you’re gagging and whispering prayers, you tell yourself, “This too shall pass.”

And it does. Right after the second rinse and one bottle of Drano.

9. Drank From a Sketchy Sippy Cup and Lived to Regret It

You’re parched. You see a cup on the floor. You assume hope it’s water.

You drink.

It’s warm. It’s sweet. It’s chunky?

The betrayal hits fast. Was it apple juice? Old milk? Yogurt that mutated?

We’ll never know. But you swallow it anyway because you’re too tired to care, and your toddler’s already licking the dog.

10. Got Peed On and Didn’t Even Change

This is a rite of passage. It happens in the car. At the park. At grandma’s house.

You hear the trickle, feel the warmth and you just sigh. Because you just changed into clean pants.

So you throw a towel on the car seat, grab a snack, and keep going. Because you’ve got errands to run and a kid to feed and laundry that’s already plotting against you at home.

Final Thoughts: You’re Not Alone. You’re Just a Mom

Here’s the deal motherhood is messy, but that’s part of its raw, hilarious, unfiltered beauty.

Yes, you’ve caught poop with your hands. You’ve sniffed butts like a detective. You’ve tasted spoiled juice, stepped in barf, and sacrificed your dignity for a clean nose.

But you know what? That’s love. That’s survival. That’s parenting at its finest.

So the next time you find drool down your shirt or a booger on your sleeve, smile. Because this, my friend, is the good stuff.

And someday, you’ll miss it. (Okay, maybe not the drain hair.)